Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Sentence 5

Novel: Blue Moon By Alyson Noel


Her Sentence
I swallow hard and look at her, knowing exactly what she's after, hoping to kill two birds with one meal.

Commentary: The first thing that I noticed about this sentence was that she said, "kill two birds with one meal," aside from saying, "kill two birds with one stone," which made me giggle. I had to read the sentence twice to make sure that I read it right. Ever, the main character, is talking about her aunt who is afraid that Ever is not eating, and that Ever may not be with the right guy. So her aunt is wanting to take her and her boyfriend out to eat on the weekend, which will confirm or deny her worrisome feelings about Ever. I think I spot a gerund phrase in the middle of the sentence, I love gerund phrases and I love this whole sentence.

My Sentence

I run fast and look at death, knowing what he wants with me, catching another soul with one sweep of his scythe.

Sentence 4

Novel: Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen

pg 26

His sentence:
He wanted revenge but felt little joy from this act.

Commentary: This sentence does not exactly sparkle to me, but as I was reading the sentence did make me stop and think about what was going on. The main character Cole had just burned down the only shelter on the isolated island he had been sentence to stay on for a year. He thought that in burning the shelter he would hurt those who put him there. When I read this sentence one thought came into my mind so strong I had to say it out loud in the middle of class...DUH! This sentence made me wish that I could walk up to this kid and put the palm of my hand in the middle of his force head and yell, "Why on earth would you think that would give you joy and revenge!?!?!?" Now that I have finished the novel I believe that the author did this on purpose to make the reader get mad, or laugh, different reactions for different people, in order to get the reader emotionally involved in the story.

My sentence:
She desired love but felt little fulfillment from the event.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Sentence 3

Novel: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins


Her Sentence :

I imagine these things and I'm terrified, but let's face it: they've been lurking in the back of my brain anyway.

Commentary: In this passage Katniss is thinking about the Peacekeepers coming in and getting her and shooting her for something that she has recently done that might lead to a rebellion. These are just thoughts of course but she almost lives through them as she thinks about them. Collins could have made this sentence into two separate sentences, but she did not. I like the way this sounds better than the two simple sentences that she could have used. Using this wording shows Katniss's acceptance and despair that she is not as tough as she would like to be, and that the Capital does really scare the britches off of her. When she says "they've been lurking in the back of my brain anyway," I can just see a little thought creature crawling around on all fours. Great use of personification.

My Sentence:

I paint these landscapes and I am content, but let's face it: I have been wanting more in the bottom of my heart.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sentence 2

Novel: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Pg 117

Her Sentence:
What a pair we were - fatherless, frightened, but fiercely committed, too, to keeping our families alive.

Commentary: I love this sentence. When I read this sentence I can feel emotions stir within me, and I feel like I better understand the character. Katniss is reflecting back on the beginning of her life with Gale and as I read I can feel the reminiscing simmering deep in my heart. Such sweet yet sorrowful memories. I noticed that instead of making to separate sentences with this one sentence she combined the two. Making the second half feel more like a thought to the reader, and to show that Katniss was in fact thinking and reliving memories. Collins also uses a type of consonance within this sentence. Katniss says, "fatherless, frightened, but fiercely committed..." This use of consonance beats the point home that life is hard, but the have to always tough through it. That is their only sane choice. The other is to starve and watch their family starve, and no one wants that. Collins show the reader that no matter how tough things in life may be there is always a way to make it though, and everyone has to be strong no matter what.

My Sentence: What an alliance we were - scattered, scorned, but savagely dedicated, also, to surviving this terrible game.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Sentence One

Her Sentence: Over the years the odors of liquor and vomit, boiled garbage and burned meat, unwashed clothes and mouse droppings have intermingled into a stench that brings tears to my eyes.

My Sentence: Through the years the scents of coffee and vanilla, boiled cinnamon and roasted barley, untainted love and lavenders petals have interlaced into an aroma that brings joy to my soul.

Commentary: With the sentence that Suzanne Collins has written, describing the house of Haymitch, there are many descriptive words and phrases that most everyone has experienced or heard about. Thus, it is hard not to wrinkle your nose along with Katniss when reading it. I could see the vomit, liquor, burnt meat, and mounds of mouse droppings all over the floor, and I could smell and almost taste the nasty rotten stench. I tried to take a more pleasant route with my sentence. =)

Book: Catching Fire

Page: 13

Paragraph: 3